Hush
by prettyinpinkgal
Summary: It had been an ordinary day, or so she had thought. This is Sara's story of Now and Then, Here and There.
1. Snatched

**Prettyinpinkgal: Love this anime. If there was ever a time I wanted to cry during an anime, it's during NTHT and Air (and Clannad; Fuko's story kinda made me tear up). I had originally typed this as a oneshot, but it grew to be so long that I've decided to post it as several "chapters", if you can call them that. I won't really say "Enjoy" for this story, but I hope that you find it to be an intriguing look into Sara's mind.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing.**

**HUSH**

It had been an ordinary day.

She had been walking to pick up her father, as she always did.

The cars behind her had stopped.

A leaf had stopped its descent.

The wind had suddenly halted.

And then came the machines.

The men had called her Lala-Ru. _Who is she? _Sara had wondered numbly.

It took them exactly twenty seconds to grab a hold of her and transport her. In those jumbled moments, a cold woman said, "I've finally found you, Lala-Ru. You're coming with me."

Where?

She did not know.

Her screams hurt her throat.

* * *

This world was terrifying. Or was it the same one as her own?

They herded her through a hallway. Finally, she entered a large, darkened room.

They pushed her forward, and she shuffled in a straight line, too numb to do much else.

Her foot came into contact with something; as her eyes adjusted to the light, her profound horror increased tenfold when she identified the object as a dead cat, with its eyes wide and unseeing.

_Will that be me?_

_

* * *

_

A man's voice, which was almost hauntingly jolly, greeted her.

"Hello, Lala-Ru! I'm so pleased you've finally arrived! Abelia, turn on the lights!"

"Yes, King Hamdo."

She had heard her voice before--had Abelia been with her the entire time?

The king's face seemed normal enough, not hardened like the other men's. Yet there was something frightening in his countenance. She felt herself back away.

And then the nightmare proceeded to worsen.

First came his stare.

Next came the widening eyes.

Third came the trembling.

Finally, he spoke.

"Not--You--Lala-Ru--No--A--Be--Li--A--" A hysterical sort of laugh bubbled forth from his tightly grinning mouth. "This--isn't--Lala-Ru! This-isn't-Lala-Ru! THIS ISN'T LALA-RU! NOW WHERE IS SHE?!"

"I-I'm sorry, sir. We thought we had the right girl--"

"SHE'S NOT LALA-RU!!" He proceeded to rant and rave, then demanded to know if Abelia had seen a blue pendant on her. His subordinant replied in the negative, saying she had mistaken the purple pendant to be blue from the distance.

Then Hamdo focused in on _her_.

"YOU! WHY AREN'T YOU LALA-RU?!"

She opened her mouth tremblingly. "Who-who is that?"

"I need her...I need her very badly. Do you understaaaaaaaaand?" he asked as he walked toward her. Her feet were frozen to the ground.

Then the beatings commenced.

* * *

She was scared.

This dark cell she had been given, consisting of only one window, was hollow and darkened, like she was now.

She wondered if time had resumed in her world. She knew she must be in a different world--how else would people know how to stop time? Who else from her world had heard of a place called Hellywood, as the soldiers had addressed it; of a king named Hamdo, whose insanity consisted of frightening violence; of a girl named Lala-Ru, who was so desperately wanted for whatever reason?

She saw the sun set outside. As the rays in her cell grew smaller and smaller, so did her hope of leaving, of escaping this monstrous place. The rays trailed away from her face, and she grew frightened again.

"Wait--come back--" she whispered, gingerly reaching out a hand and attempting to catch the sunlight, her hope. "Come back! Don't GO! Don't LEAVE ME!"

Her screams were for naught, for night came soon after, and there was no moonlight to cling to.

Her world was now entirely dark.


	2. Sick

**Prettyinpinkgal: Part two of my analysis of Sara's thoughts.  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing.**

**HUSH**

Women were scarce in Hellywood.

Children were captured from other countries and taken here to become soldiers. She heard about this because occasionally, she had heard the shouts from her window, which talked about battles. Hamdo was sending children, some no older than six, out to battle?

What did they want her for? Why didn't they just let her _go home_? She was of no use to them: She wasn't very athletic, so she wouldn't be a good soldier. Perhaps as a nurse? No; she had yet to see a doctor or nurse here. And their own king abused his own subjects at will; why would he want to heal them?

What did they want her for?

She soon found out.

* * *

Women were scarce in Hellywood.

Soldiers were being killed in battle, and it was troublesome to continually go to other countries for children.

The men here could have children of their own.

All they needed was someone to bear them.

* * *

She felt sick. And she was. Multiple times.

She had to go through the same thing, night after night. Occasionally, they left her alone, and she spent the one free night dreading the approach of a soldier.

She now could not remember happiness. What was that? What was joy? What was safety, comfort, home? What was family, friends, love, friendship?

What was good in life?

* * *

She did not know how long she had been at Hellywood.

She did not know if it had been a year, a week, a month?

She tried to count the nights she was terrified, but her mind blocked it out. When she was able to break through her mental barrier, she found that the nights were all blurred together in her mind anyway.

* * *

A soldier who was sitting outside of her cell occasionally seemed different than the others.

He did not hurt her.

He did not touch her.

He only looked at her, not in a sickening way, but in a soft, almost compassionate way.

Still, she hated him.

She hated all of them.

Why couldn't they die and leave her alone?


	3. Shu

**Prettyinpinkgal: Apologies to those who may be reading this and had expected my update of "Destiny" to be my next update. It was meant to be, but this little idea kept nagging at me to write for this category, so please bare with me.**

**To those who have been reading this, thank you and I hope you are satisfied with this chapter.  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing.**

**HUSH**

That soldier had passed her cell when another soldier ran up to him. They had captured the real Lala-Ru, but a boy was trying to protect her.

_Why? _she wondered. _Why would he protect that monster? It's HER fault I've had this happen to me! _

She began trembling again, and started to whimper as the two soldiers ran to teach the boy a lesson.

* * *

As fate would have it, he was thrown into her cell.

He was really only a boy after all. He wasn't any older than her, it seemed. He was dressed funny--almost like--

No. She would not think it.

She would not dare to think they had been from the same world.

That would almost make it seem like she wasn't alone, but if he wasn't from Earth, then she would just lose her light of hope again.

* * *

She would later reflect that, had the situation been different, it would be almost comical that she would hit him unconscious.

If she had been back home, watching a cartoon on TV, perhaps she would have laughed at the scenario, even.

But no.

Not here.

Not like this.

He had been sweating and panting in his sleep. Judging by his injuries, he had been beaten. Very badly, too.

She inched closer. For the first time in however long, she felt compassion well up within her. If he was risking his life to save That Thing, if he was defying the soldiers and Hamdo and Abelia, then he couldn't be such a bad person.

Determination flashed in her eyes. _This is ridiculous. He's hurt, and I'm sure hitting him last night wasn't any help._

She took out a long-forgotten handkerchief. Gently, almost in a motherlike fashion, she dabbed at his wounds on his face.

She refused to flinch when he opened his eyes.

However, she could not fight her fear when he got up and began softly calling her the name, "Lala-Ru...Lala-Ru!"

She backed up against the wall. Yet he kept crawling towards her.

Her fear of men, her fear that he would be like the sadistic Hamdo, her fear of everything related to the very name Lala-Ru caused her to lash out and strike, much as a frightened animal would bite an approaching hand.

However, she did not know if she had hurt a hand that was reaching out to hurt her or to save her.

* * *

Either way, she threw the bowl in horror. Not quite the same horror as she had felt in the undercurrent of her soul for the entire time she'd been here, but rather an embarrassed, disgusted horror. Without checking to see if he was alright, she crawled towards the opposite wall, looking at him with apprehension.

How had she become such a barbarian? When did she lose her kindness, her humanity, and become like these Hellywood people: violent for no reason? Later she would mentally argue back, "But I was frightened. I thought he'd hurt me."

And yet, even as she stared at him in fright against the wall, she knew he would not hurt her. The eyes she had briefly seen showed too much innocence to know the meaning of hurting someone else.

* * *

She was determined again. No more running away unless he did something genuinely frightening. And, she mentally added with an almost-twitch of her lips, no more hitting him again with the food bowl.

She tied the handkerchief around his eyes. To her relief, he did not wake up for some time. However, she almost felt some of her fear melt away when he woke up. He was so bewildered, she would have laughed if she had not grown so hardened.

She shrunk away, though, yet again, when he eyed her. "Lala-Ru!" He crawled like a child over to her. He was of such close proximity that she began to tremble again, but that occured often enough anyway.

He paused when he could get a good look of her face. He leaned in for further analysis. "Oh. You're not her," he said.

His voice was actually not nearly as frightening as she had first thought. Perhaps it was only the name that had scared her so badly.

And he _smiled_. Not a sick, twisted smile. Just a smile, like a child's. It occured to her that perhaps she was still considered a child too, despite her mental aging.

He dropped the smile when she didn't respond and sat cross-legged, looking almost like a Native American, she sort of thought, with the bandana of bright colors tied around his head. She didn't know why she thought of him like that, but it was perhaps because she now associated him as something _good _that she could associate him with something _familiar _to her.

Then he went and inquired about Lala-Ru's whereabouts. She looked at him with a tinge of annoyance when he addressed her in an almost-rude manner; now she let her eyes speak for her.

"Guess not. Darn."

His stomach growled comically. "I'm starving." The empty food bowl caught his eye. "Darn it! I should have had those croquettes when I had the chance!"

He went on murmuring about something, but she cut him off.

"Just now! Did you say 'croquette'?"

"Yeah..."

She grabbed him. "Are you from Earth?!"

"By definition..."

"America! Understand? America! Do you know what it is?"

"Well, yeah, I've heard of it..." He began murmuring something else, but she didn't pay attention. For the first time in a while, real tears began gushing forth.

* * *

She briefly told her story of how she came to be in this world. "Can you explain what's going on?" she asked.

"Well, uh, I guess you were kidnapped because they thought you were Lala-Ru."

"Then when can I go home?" she demanded. It was stupid, really; this boy was only just arrived from Earth. How would he know? "They've found the real one, so why won't they let me go? I have nothing to do with this whole mess! Please tell me why I'm here. Tell me..." Tears began welling up inside her again. "I want to go home." _Mom...Dad..._

"It'll be fine!" The boy said this so abruptly and passionately that she snapped out of her depression immediately, if only for a moment. "You will definitely go home. It's going to work out!"

"What makes you so sure?"

"Well, I don't know, but I just know it'll work out."

"But that doesn't make any sense."

"I don't get it either!" replied the boy. "I don't know how, but it will work out. This world _is _really bad, and we've had nothing but trouble since getting here. But we're still alive! As long as we're alive, good things are bound to happen! I just know it!"

She stared at him, stunned but still skeptical. "Are you sure we'll be okay?"

"Yeah!"

"...We'll go home?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Do you promise?"

"Leave it to me...! Er..."

She giggled. It was almost silent, but she still had briefly laughed. And now she smiled at him. "We haven't even introduced ourselves.

"I'm Sara. Sara Ringwalt."

* * *

His name was Shu. Shuzo Matsutani.

He handed her the handkerchief just before the jail door opened, and then the cell door.

The soldier dragged Shu out, making him say "ow!" almost comically.

He then shouted, "It's going to work out!"

Then he vanished from view.

She went up to the cell door, desperate to see him one more time. Would the glimpse she wanted to catch be the last she would see of him? Would they meet again, or would the next round of torturing kill him?

She could faintly see him through the darkness.

"It's going to work out! It's going to be fine, Sara!"

She watched as he disappeared into the distance.


	4. Sin

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing.**

**HUSH**

"Let's go."

Two children stood before her. She had never really looked at the boy-soldiers outside before, too disgusted to look. But here, the wrongness of this whole place struck her once again, especially after the few minutes of healing she had with that boy Shu.

"But you're only children--"

"Stand up!" the older one said, grabbing her arm.

"No! What are you doing?!" Her brief session with Shu had brought her fighting spirit back.

At least, until the boy put a gun to her head.

* * *

As she walked with them, Sara felt slightly reassured. These children, the oldest most likely being her own age, surely wouldn't take her to those horrible men. No, she would be safe. She didn't care if someone hit her like they did Shu. Just so long as she didn't have to be used by those disgusting men again.

"Do you know what happened to a boy named Shu?" she asked, keeping her voice even.

"I don't know who that is. Shut up and keep walking."

The oldest shoved her into a room and closed the door. Still, she felt calm. This wouldn't be the room of one of those vile monsters. No, no child, no matter how taught they are to follow orders, would push her into such a situation.

She glanced about warily nonetheless.

In the shadows, she barely made out the form of a mushed up face of a man.

A familiar terror, although much stronger now after her brief meeting with innocence, seized her heart as the man grabbed her and pulled her towards him.

* * *

She sat there in the darkness.

She was vaguely aware of Shu's movements as he got up.

She didn't know what had happened to him.

She did not care.

He whispered her name. Twice. Thrice.

She sat there motionlessly, crying without sobbing, crying without breathing.

"What happened?"

Another tear rolled down her cheek.

She wondered, if she cried enough, if it would replenish this world's supply of water.

It would not be hard to do.

* * *

He was taken again.

Dragged off by the soldier.

She did not move.

* * *

That guard who did not leer at her passed her.

She heard him stop. Then his footsteps resounded again as he approached her.

The steps stopped far too close to her.

After a moment of waiting him to leave her again, and a moment of him staying there, she covered her head, shaking horrendously.

A second later, he turned and walked away.

This time, she sobbed quietly as she cried.

* * *

She was thrown into another cell.

She noticed in terror that this time, it was the soldier who had always seemed different than the other men.

The one who had offered her the handkerchief, which she had noticed only after her tears had stopped.

She had thought he was different.

He was no better than the rest of them.

Yet for some reason, _because _he had seemed different, less animalistic, she was even more afraid.

She shrank back when he turned to her.

"What is your name?"

"My name is Kazam."

He spoke in a calm manner.

This filled her with even more fear.

She tried banging on the door, but to no avail.

* * *

He had not hurt her.

But that made her all the more frightened of him.

Because as soon as she began to trust him, he would be taken away too.

Or he would betray her.

Either way, fear would be fine.

Numbness was even better.

* * *

She was directed to another soldier's room.

She had been on good behavior lately; she was very obedient.

They ordered her about, treating her as they thought of her: a tool, nothing more.

She did not care anymore.

When he told her to look at the table, she only briefly glanced.

Then she took a longer look.

He was going on about something about Abelia.

When she focused on his words again, which was bribing her to do as she was told to get water, she felt herself feeling again.

Not sadness.

Not pain.

But hate.

She felt murderous.

And such an anger as had never been felt in a child her age.

Her resolve strengthened as he talked about her having children.

He began taking off his shirt.

And she snapped.

Grabbing the bottle, she hit him repeatedly over the head. He kicked her off, only briefly, before she threw it at his head again.

They then wrestled with the gun.

She won.

She glanced repeatedly at the rifle. A bit of her humanity returned, and she turned to leave him.

What a fool that man was!

Hadn't he known she would have saved his life had he not grabbed onto her ankle?

He tried smothering her.

She tried to think.

Kicking wasn't working.

Playing dead would not work.

So she struck him again, just when he had thought he was winning.

His weight on her terrified her.

She was feeling as mad as Hamdo when she rolled him off of her.

He raised his head.

She gave a final series of strikes.

His weight had terrified her.

Although perhaps not as much as when she realized he would not fight her again.

* * *

She was vomitting again.

As her stomach emptied, she knew she could not stay.

She had heard that if you ran away, you would be shot immediately.

No one succeeded in escaping.

But she wouldn't succeed in living in this Godforsaken place either.

She drank the man's precious water.

She disguised herself in his filthy clothes.

_Yes, everything would be fine, just as Shu had said._

With what bitterness did she think those words.

* * *

She had made it.

She was a fine distance away from Hellywood.

Kicking off his clothes, she stood, feeling the wind carress her cheeks, feeling it cleanse her.

It would not do to have her hair so long.

Hellywood soldiers would no doubt recognize her with it.

Besides, it was perfect; she was starting over, and a haircut was in order.

Briefly, she thought of Shu and wondered what had happened to him.

_It's every one for themselves. Just try not to die._

She watched her hair fly into the vast sky.

She then thought, _It's a part of me that will definitely never go home_.

She burst into tears and began running with all her might.

_I'm free._

_I'm sorry._

_I'm free._

_I'm sorry._

_But am I saved?_


	5. Safe

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing.**

**HUSH**

She did not know where she was.

The wind stung her face, her eyes watered, she was hungry, she was thirsty, she was oh _so _tired, and above all, she wanted to go _home_.

But she knew she would not return, not yet. How could she? After all that had happened to her, she wanted to see that monsterous "king" just _die_, and then everything in this world and her own would be fine. She would return home a normal girl, having the revenge she craved.

She would not consider if this place would transform her, had already transformed her, into such a person she nor her family or friends would recognize her.

Was it despicable that she would think such a thing?

She did not know where she was.

And frankly, she did not mind if she just died here.

Just so long as her suffering ended once and for all.

* * *

She collapsed into the sand, her lungs aching from coughing the sand out of her system.

She would sleep, either for a moment or for eternity.

She was looking forward to it.

Her eyes closed.

* * *

When they opened again (to her disappointment), there stood a woman by her. She was large, not precisely obese, but big-boned as if she herself had tackled the weight of the world and won.

"Well, it's good to see you're awake," the older woman said, smiling.

The woman's name was Sis. While the name wasn't referring to the English word, the girl imagined it was. Sis was like a big sister, or perhaps an aunt or mother.

_A mother..._

The children were absolutely adorable. They had stared at her with curiosity at first but quickly accepted her as one of them. They now grinned at her delightfully, and she once again remembered innocence and love.

She was horrible at working in the fields. Her back ached, and once in a while she felt sick in her stomach. Due to this, Sis sent her on easier work out trying to find trees for fires in the winter. Unfortunately, this often was fruitless, as much of the trees were gone outside of Zaribars. Still, she found herself enjoying the travelling and not being forced to stay in one place.

She was being healed, too. Slowly but surely, the wounds on her skin were recovering. The fear and gravity of her eyes were fading, and a spark of happiness was replacing the darkness. She was certain of it within a week: Zaribars was the place the fading sun had whispered of to her each evening at Hellywood.

She only hoped the sun would not set on this place as well.


	6. Sara

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing.**

**HUSH**

Upon her return after her very last excursion, she found some unexpected guests at Sis's home.

"Sara! What are you doing here?"

That boy.

That boy from before...

Shu...

He was alive...

"It's you..." She glanced about to see if he had come with any others, too shocked by this sudden appearance to address the boy.

On a chair near Soon sat a girl with hair the color of frozen water. Around her neck was a blue pendant.

There was something familiar about this girl... She knew she had not seen her, yet she somehow felt she _had._

And then it hit her: The girl sitting in the chair looked almost like _her_. With the exception of the hair and eye color, the girls were so similar...

Was it not a girl named Lala-Ru she had been initially mistaken for?

Realization struck her.

"Lala...Lala-Ru?"

Her past sins swept upon her, both those commited by herself and those she had witnessed.

That place.

That man.

Those sick soldiers.

That last man.

She shuck her head in denial. No, no, this girl who had made her life become a living hell was _here_? Couldn't she _leave her alone_?

Without thinking, she rushed forward and slammed the monster to the ground. "It's your fault! It's all your fault! You did this to me! It's _all your fault!_" She struck her multiple times, just wishing that the monster would feel an ounce of the pain she had.

After she shrieked her last accusation, Shu had grabbed onto her. "Sara!"

But she would not be contained.

She was no better than a wild animal; no, that is an insult to animals. She was as bad as the people of Hellywood. No control, no humanity, only brutality.

She realized this, and after a final scream, she hung her head and cried for the Sara she had once been. For the Sara she wished to be again.

* * *

She sat alone against the rock. Alone she had been throughout this entire time; alone she would be for the rest of her life.

_"You will go home! Things will definitely work out!"_

No, she wouldn't. No, they wouldn't. This world, this life would continue to beat her until there was nothing left of her.

Soon came just then. She stared evenly at her, almost questioningly, but did not enquire. Instead, she slid down beside her and sat.

For just a moment, she was not alone.

Then Soon went and began talking about how _nice _Larla was, and won't Sara be nice to her?

She did not want to lose control like before, so she clenched her fist and tried to endure it. But she couldn't. "Her name's not Larla; it's Lala-Ru! And she's not a made up story! She put me through--!"

She would not continue. Instead, she collapsed in pain.

* * *

When she awoke, she overheard the village doctor speaking to Sis and Shu. She made out some words: "That girl is..." The last word was difficult to hear, especially for her weary mind.

"_PREGNANT_?!" shouted Shu, having no idea what had happened to his sort-of friend during her stay at Hellywood.

"Watch it!" came Sis's exclamation.

Despite her exhaustion, the bedridden girl understood two things:

1) Someone was pregnant.

and 2) That someone was her.

Her eyes widened in shock and disgust and terror and all the emotions which were now so familiar to her.

"Are you sure?" Sis asked softly, but now that the pregnant--pregnant!--girl was fully awake, it was not hard to make out the words.

"She's not too far along in the pregnancy. What will you do?" asked the good doctor.

"What am I going to do?" Sis repeated, bewildered.

"To keep it or abort it," the doctor clarified. "Abortion should be done early. It would be easier on the mother's body."

_No... No! I want _MY _mother, not to _BE _a mother_!

"I understand...but that's not for us to decide," Sis replied, still stunned by the news.

She covered herself with the blanket, trying to hide from this newly revealed truth. She was carrying a life inside of her, and those sick soldiers made it happen! She wondered what on earth she had done to make God abandon her.

She tried so hard. Still, like always, the opposite of what she wanted happened.

She cried despite her attempts to hold the tears in.

She faintly heard the others gasp, realizing that she had heard everything. She could hear Shu cry her name. But they let her cry alone.

* * *

She watched the children play merrily in the fields. She sat on her favorite rock, watching the scene and numbly wondering if her own child would play with them one day.

She heard shuffling in the grass close to her. She glanced over and saw Shu, then turned her gaze away.

She heard him sit beside her, listened to him attempt to say something, then close his mouth when he realized he had no idea what to say. And she began to speak her thoughts which had been plaguing her.

"You said it'd be alright."

"Huh?"

"You said everything would work out back there. But that was a lie."

"It wasn't a..." He trailed off when he looked into her hurt glare.

"What did I do wrong?" she asked him. "To be brought here against my will, to be beaten and kicked...violated...even have to murder to free myself...! And now pregnant! What have I done to deserve this?! Whose fault is this?! Whose making me go through this hell?!" She broke off, too emotional to say more.

"It'll be alright, Sara," insisted Shu as he stood. "No matter how bad things are now, you still have your life. As long as you're alive, good things are bound to happen, I swear! Forget everything that's happened up until now. Sis is a good person, and there's none of those Hellywood jerks here! I'm telling you, it'll be alright from here on out!"

She gave a bitter smile, then frowned again. "That's a lie, too." She slid off the rock and walked towards a ball one of the children had dropped. "Everything you say is a lie. Those words don't do any good. Please keep her away from me. I may just try to kill her."

The child who dropped the ball came running and grinned at her when she handed it to him. However, that grin died when he saw her cool and emotionless expression.

She walked away from the scene, and from life.

* * *

It was late at night. Now, before the baby had developed much, she would end this. She would end it all.

Some people said that the baby even now had a soul, was even now alive. She would not think about her child being alive. She needed to do this to escape the pain and the horrors of life.

What way was better to end it all then by drowning in the water that was so dearly treasured in this world?

She stepped purposefuly into the water, each step taking her deeper and deeper. A part of her wanted to live, the part which believed Shu's words. Still, she had had enough. The rest of her wanted to die.

"DON'T!"

She paused and turned around. Shu jumped in, and she wished he would just leave her alone. He wasn't there when she needed someone the most; why would he come now?

Quickly, she struggled to make each step. _Hurry, now! Before he comes and ruins this! _

Still, he caught up and grabbed her. "Sara!"

"Stop it, let me go!"

"Do you know what this will do to the...!" He froze when he saw her uncaring eyes.

"Leave me alone!" She shoved him away. Still, he continued to come after her, until finally they had reached the shallow water and were laying on top of the rocks.

But she wouldn't let this go. She would have control over her life, even if it was for the last time! She grabbed a nearby rock. She had wanted to end this life peacefully, to end the baby's life peacefully, but if Shu wouldn't let her...

It hurt so much. Shu quickly realized what she was doing and stupidly put his hand between the rock and her stomach. Upon hearing him cry out, she told him to move, but he refused in typical Shu-fashion. His hand quickly bloodied, and before she could strike him much more, she set down the rock.

"You won't even allow me to die?" she asked him. "Why? How can I go on like this?" Her tears began to drop on his injured hand.

"I have no way of knowing what terrible things you've been through. And I'm sorry I can't understand, but I--!"

"If you don't understand, then leave me alone! Leave me alone!"

He watched her for a moment, then said, "Well, what I meant to say is..." He seemed frazzled by being unable to find the right words. "I know I'm only good with words and can't really help you, but...but you shouldn't kill yourself!"

"...Please. Just let it go... I'll never be able to accomplish what I've wanted to do. If this is all there is for me...I wish I had never been born!"

_Please...just let me end all of this._

At first she didn't know what hit her. All she knew was that she had stumbled back and her cheek stung. It then clicked. Pacifist Shu had struck her.

"How could you say that?!" he was shouting desperately. "If you die, that's it! It's all over! The baby would be finished without even having a chance to be born! Can't you see...?" Tears were welling up in his eyes. "That can't be right!"

He hugged her suddenly with all his strength.

Her old terror of men pumped through her veins again, and she struggled to make him let go. He continually said, "Don't die!" Why did he care so much? There wouldn't be any blood on his hands! Even as she bit him in the shoulder to make him release her, he still cried, "Don't die!" as he fell over on top of her, his injured hand softening the landing for her but making it painful for him. He then screeched in pain and despair, "Don't _die_!"

After all that, it was suddenly over. He rolled onto the rocks beside her, and he faced away from her. In a quiet, subdued voice, but with every bit as determination as if he was screaming it, he told her, "Sara...you can't die."

It was then that she understood fully. He honestly _cared. _It wasn't just that he was an idealist who thought no one should die so young. He honestly cared about _her, _about _her _individual life.

And her baby's. Not because the child was the offspring of a messed up, evil person. But because the baby was _hers_. And he knew she could bring the baby happiness.

She also realized another reason why he was so desperate. All this time, she had been thinking only of herself. She had not thought of anyone else. Not even her unborn child. But Shu had gone through just as much pain, although not nearly as much shame. Shu had been tortured. She had helped Sis with the wash when she found stubborn blood stains on his clothes which would not disappear from the cloth. He still had swollen arms and cheeks. Just earlier today, his shirt had torn and Sis had handed him another one to change into. He took off his ragged shirt and revealed scars on his back.

Yet he had smiled and thanked Sis for the meal he was about to have.

But he _must _have felt some agony. Must _still _feel despaired over all he had gone through; he, a mere child. He must have considered just letting Hamdo's goons kill him. But he must have secretly yelled at himself, just as he had done out loud at her, to live. If she died, that would mean maybe he should too.

At these two understandings, Sara began to tear up. But this time, her crying did not symbolize her anguish. No; they demonstrated the return of Sara Ringwalt.


	7. Sadistic

**Prettyinpinkgal: Unfortunately, this is all I have finished thus far. However, I've covered about 12 of the episodes in the series, so that's not too bad, since I have but one more to go. I can't wish for this story to be "good", but I hope it is able to convey the emotions the viewer receives while watching the anime. I'd appreciate any reviews.  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing.**

**HUSH**

"Sara. I'll leave the village with her."

She sat thinking about this, wondering if she should stop him from leaving. She thought about her own situation, too, and wondered about her baby: Not if she should murder it, because she knew now that she could not, but if she could really be a mother for it. Would she make the child happy? Or should she ask for another woman to adopt it? No; she would not run away anymore. She had Sis to help her, too, so things would be okay.

Because as long as she had her life, maybe, just maybe...

"Sara, wasn't it?"

She looked up, and then wished she hadn't. She tried running, but he grabbed her, begging her not to go. "Calm down! I didn't come to take you back!"

That stopped her, and she looked at him in disbelief.

"You should get out of here with me. If you stay, you'll die!"

"Let go of me!"

He did.

"Why are you here?" she asked, slightly proud of herself for not shrinking back like a wild animal about to be eaten by the predator. "I'm going to die, you say? What are you talking about?"

"I was sent to infiltrate this place. Zaribars is going to be annihilated."

Her eyes widened. "No..."

"Run away with me. This place will be ground zero by tonight. It'll be a massacre."

"That's a lie..."

He was raising his voice. He was truly desperate to get her out of there, wasn't he? "It's the truth! Please believe me! Only I can help you!"

But she turned. No more would she run away on her own. If she had to leave, she would leave with as many people as possible.

She would not abandon these people who had not abandoned her.

As she ran, she heard his voice call to her. Kazam called her name twice, and she covered her ears, for fear that she would flee to him alone.

* * *

She found Sis on the canyon trail. "Get out of here! Hurry! Take the kids and run!" She commenced with explaining the grave situation.

"Hellywood is coming?"

"That man told me they'd be here soon. We have to leave!"

Elamba showed up. She had never liked him. She didn't care what happened to his sister; it was terribly sad, but was just an excuse for him to endanger everyone with his own selfish desires.

As he spoke, she found herself wondering what on earth he was thinking. Using that girl for negotiations? With Hellywood? Was Elamba mad?

Apparently he was, for when Sis spoke up, she received a bullet in reply.

Sara slammed against Elamba, trying to fight him off, but was slammed against the rocks, almost to the point of knocking her unconscious. However, she managed to stay awake and cry out for this woman who had been so good to her.

"Don't follow me!"

Like an disobedient child, she did.

* * *

Elamba had strung Sis up, allowing her wound to bleed freely and in view for everyone to see. People were screaming, "Yes! Let's find Lala-Ru!" when he had finished speaking.

Sara could not believe her ears. She had lived in Zaribars for only a small amount of time, but she had thought that Zaribars was above the monstrosity of Hellywood. Yet here was Sis's neighbors, her so-called friends, shouting for the end of one whom Sis had worked so hard to protect.

Sara would be the first to admit she did not like Lala-Ru. That icy cold stare only added to her thoughts that she was but a thing, not a person. Everything was her fault, but she was not human, so therefore it makes sense and was easy to blame her.

But the real Sara knew better. It was as Sis had said one day: Those were the eyes who had seen pain, the ones which wished to gaze upon their parents.

And she herself had known Lala-Ru better now. She had seen the strange girl try to appease the children. Soon, even, had taken a liking to Lala-Ru.

She was actually _kind_. She was, despite all peculiarities, _human_.

Yet Sara could not completely forgive her. And she could not let the being hide while Sis hung there.

* * *

After interrogating one of the children, Sara found Lala-Ru, as well as Shu and Soon, in the water cave. A fitting place, due to the legend. She quickly grabbed "Larla".

She did not allow herself to stare at the blue girl. She would not stare and try to find the humanity in her. _No; imagine her as the monster you once pictured her to be. Then, this will be easier._

When Shu began to protest, she briefly explained the situation. Lala-Ru proved she had kindness in her when she stood without any hesitation. Her friend, however, began debating with Sara's decision.

Before the argument could get far, however, the voice of one of Elamba's faithful followers announced his presence. "So this is where you were." He held up a gun.

Shu quickly stood in front of the girls with his stick.

"Hand her over," the man demanded.

However, Shu began attacking him, surprising him too greatly to allow him to shoot. However, the man hit Shu's sore hand (the one which, Sara guiltily remembered, _she _had injured), and then kneed him in the stomach.

Lala-Ru began walking slowly towards the man. Sara considered stopping her, but she remembered it was for Sis that this must happen.

Anything was alright if it was for Sis.

But Soon stood in Lala-Ru's way, blocking her off from the Elamba follower.

"Move."

"No."

"I'm not kidding."

"...It's alright." Sara could not believe such devotion.

He reached out to grab her hair. "I said move--"

"NO!" Shu's voice rang out, but was soon drowned out by the sound of rushing water.

* * *

Sis continued to hang. Whispers of, "That's Lala-Ru. That's the monster!" could be heard. Sara disagreed with them now; she was frightening, to be sure, but not a monster. Especially after seeing the slight narrowing of the "monster's" aqua eyes as she looked at the injured Sis.

Elamba grabbed hold of Lala-Ru's face, stating his intentions as if she were a mere subordinant without the power to kill him in a moment.

However, he could not wait to hear her consent as the wind suddenly picked up.

Everyone looked up, squinting against the dust and sand particles.

When Sara identified the object, her eyes widened in shock and horror.

From some sort of speaker, Hamdo's voice announced, _"Traitors of Zaribars, listen to me! You're guilty of conspiring to commit treason and deserve certain death. I shall deliver the iron stake of death myself! Atone for your sin and die._

_"My name is Hamdo, the ruler of the Earth!"_

Then, to put it simply, all hell broke loose.

* * *

Smoke.

Screaming.

Crying.

Dust.

Scent of blood.

Scent of burning.

Sound of gunshots.

Despite these things, Sara and the others huddled around Sis. Holding her head carefully, Sara tried calling to her, praying for her to stay alive. Thankfully, her eyes opened. Upon seeing the destruction and chaos, however, she tried sitting up. She took in the scene and cursed. "Look at the village," Sis said weakly. Her eyes suddenly widened in fear, and she cried out for the children.

"I'll go get them!" Shu shouted. He grabbed his stick and ran through the smoke. Shortly after, Soon grabbed a large gun laying on the ground and took off after him.

_Please don't make her use it,_ Sara begged when she called after her to no avail. A child should not have to deal with such a thing.

Shortly afterwards, a gun was pointed at Lala-Ru. "There you are," Elamba growled. "Let's go, Lala-Ru."

"There's nothing you can do now," protested Sara. "This wouldn't have happened if we had evacuated. It's all your fault!"

Apparently, Sara's cry had struck a cord with Elamba. He grabbed onto Lala-Ru, smacking Sara's hand away when she tried to reach out to save the girl of water.

As the two walked away, Sara kept her hand out, debating whether to follow and save Lala-Ru. But she stayed behind, fearing for Sis. Lala-Ru would live for certain, but Sis...

No. She would not think about it.

* * *

A soldier pointed yet another gun at Sis and Sara. The latter glared at the man, all past fear overcome by immense hate and even a little pity as she glowered at the emotionless person.

Just as he reached for the trigger, just as Sara reached to block Sis from the impending bullet, it was announced that all survivors would be taken to Hellywood.

For now, the rest would live.

But how many they had lost!


	8. Salvation

**Prettyinpinkgal: Final chapter! Although there will be an epilogue after this, kind of going into detail about the title of this fanfic. Thank you for reading. I hope you have found this little narrative faithful to what Sara might have thought.  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing.**

**HUSH**

They were herded into the tower. Sara felt panic sprout up within her, but she quelled it with the thought that she was not alone right now, and she was not the worst off.

What was needed now was not worry, but attention for Sis's injury.

It did not matter that they were now slaves.

All that mattered was that they were alive for now, and for now the cruelty would subside a little.

After all, Shu's words might have some truth to them.

Staying faithfully by Sis's side, Sara looked up when the injured woman she tried to talk.

"There's something I want to tell you," whispered Sis.

"I told you, don't talk!" demanded Sara, more unease settling in as she thought of how Sis's words sounded like the last sentences of a dying woman.

"It's about the baby," Sis stated with nearly-lifeless eyes.

Having forgotten all about the life she was carrying, Sara did not speak.

"You can hate the guy who did this to you...if you want to. Curse the world, too, if you have to."

Sara's eyes widened more and more, as memories of terrifying nights threatened to break the barrier she had put up to block them out. However, she looked down as Sara's large hand moved slightly, stroking Sara's stomach, stroking the child. Completely and absolutely, Sara for once felt like a woman carrying a child. _There really is an unborn child inside of me._

"One thing, though," Sis continued. "Don't hold it against the baby." And the stroking stopped. "No child comes into this world...wanting to be rejected...by its mother."

And she fell silent.

Slowly, Sara looked up at the face who had saved her in the desert, and saved her psychologically. Not wanting to believe the lifeless eyes, the stilled breaths, Sara softly called Sis's name. Trembling hands pressed Sis's closer to her, to her baby. Stiffled tears dripped down.

Yet another cruelty of this harsh world.

* * *

The tower was dropping, as was the power of King Hamdo of Hellywood.

The children had managed to get out, as had all the survivors of Zaribars. The kids surrounded the one mother-figure they had, weeping over her once-indestructible body. The youngest did not understand, and merely clung to Sara, wondering where the real Sis had gone.

Sara watched the scene with a broken heart, but not a broken spirit. If one good thing had happened to her throughout her stay in this forsaken world, it was that she was stronger. She had Sis and Shu to thank for that.

"Let's go," she finally said, abandoning Sis's body now that she knew for certain that the woman's spirit was elsewhere.

More and more parts broke off of Hellywood as she hurried the children along. Finally, they had to stop, and she pressed the children closer to her, telling them they would be just fine.

She glanced up and saw two huddled forms in Hellywood uniforms. They were so small. "You two! Come here!"

They came, looking at her almost with repentence.

Water quickly filled the halls of Hellywood, and Sara tried to safely guide the children across the raging currents. She was proud of the children. They had learned from Sis and had taken it upon themselves to guide the Hellywood boys and aid them in any way possible. However, one particular piece of steel broke away. Sara managed to hold on, but one of the Hellywood boys had slid from her grasp. She cried out in horror as she watched him slide into the grasp of the water.

But the steel across the small river tilted as Kazam held on, the little boy in his arms. Slowly, he made his way over to Sara. He managed to hold him out to her, and, weakened though she was, Sara caught hold of the boy's uniform and pulled him up to safety.

She panted with exhaustion, relieved beyond belief. It was a miracle. Kazam was a miracle.

_Kazam!_

Worry coarsed through her as she sat up, but to no avail.

He was already gone, but not without atonement.

* * *

The barren world was made anew. Water shimmered everywhere, and it seemed no longer the hopeless planet Sara had been kidnapped to, but the hopeful, pleasant Earth she had once known.

"Are you sure you won't go back?" Shu asked her as they stood in admiration of Lala-Ru's work and in regret of her sacrifice.

"Yeah. I want to try living here for a while." She had changed too much, experienced too much cruelty, seen too much goodness in Shu and Sis, to go home to a world who would not believe her. To a world in which she did not belong, did not fit in. And... "I want to live here with these guys. You see, this baby is a product of myself and this world."

A pause. "Sara, you once told me I lied to you. Remember? But I still believe I was right! No matter where you are, whatever adversities you face, as long as you've got your life, something good is bound to happen! Something so totally awesome to make up for all the bad stuff. Yeah, it could get pretty tough in the meantime. I don't know quite how to put it, but...you know...uh...Well, there you have it!"

Sara only smiled at him, her eyes telling him, "I know. I will believe you."

* * *

It was sad to see him go. But the transfer mechanism was working, and so she would believe that one day they would meet again.

Maybe she could introduce them to her baby.

Maybe one day they would see Lala-Ru again.

So many maybes.

Because as long as your alive...

Abelia stood, resigned. It was evident she expected to die. But Sara put a hand on one of the guns, lowering it. Abelia, the one who had drug her over to this world, looked at her in amazement. Sara only smiled.

She was going to try smiling for a while, as opposed to tears.

And so it had begun.

Their lives.

Their future.

Their hope.


	9. Epilogue: Lullaby

**Prettyinpinkgal: A peak into the life of Sara after the end of the series. I would appreciate any reviews! (is rather disappointed by the zero reviews for this fanfiction)  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing. I got the lyrics to "Lullaby" from AnimeLyrics [dot] com.  
**

**HUSH**

Kazam was now one month old. Abelia, who had slowly become integrated with the Zaribars, called for Sara. "Kazam's crying again. I'll watch the other children for you."

Sara nodded, and paused only to watch a small smile appear on Abelia's face as the kids tackled her and begged her to play. Sara grinned as she watched the scene.

She glanced at her stomach and sighed. "One month since his birth, and I'm still fat." One more good thing about staying in this world: She didn't have to worry as much about her appearance.

She walked into the nursury, where her baby reached into the air, sobbing. She scooped him up expertly and bounced him a little. "There, there, hush your crying. Everything's going to be fine."

She sat in a rocking chair, which one of the men had made for her. "Hush Little Baby" was one of Kazam's favorites, but Sara thought she'd try something new.

"Mommy made a new lullaby for you, Kazam," Sara whispered in an excited tone. "Do you want to hear it?"

The baby's tears subsided just a bit when he heard Sara begin to sing.

_"Always, all the time,_

_I will be watching over you._

_Sleep peacefully_

_Goodnight._

_We have gotten used_

_To getting hurt_

_In this world you were born_

_And I gave birth..."_

Sara stopped singing, gazing down at the infant who had fallen asleep. Yes, it was a sad song, slightly containing her pain that she had experienced almost a year ago. Yet it wasn't too much of a sad song, she felt. Its tune contained some hope.

She laid the baby down, rubbing his head gently. She turned to the window then, gazing up at the sky.

For a moment, she thought she could see Lala-Ru smiling.

However, just like that, the image faded. Shu had said that she might come back, and Sara decided she would treat the not-quite-human girl differently should they meet again.

Shu.

She had visited him a couple times before Kazam had been born. He had been ecstatic to see her, in typical Shu fashion. However, his optomistic eyes held a bit of hurt, no doubt due to the memories Sara reminded him of. Still, he welcomed her with open arms. Though she had only seen him a few times, the two were very close friends now.

She had visited America as well. Her parents needed to know she was alive. They deserved to know. Once Zaribars had been repaired to some degree and the dead had been buried, once their lives had started anew, Sara had gone to see her parents using the machine in Hellywood. Of course, they had been thrilled and relieved to see their daughter, but it was obvious they did not believe her story. It was not until a couple of hours had passed when they saw the new maturity in their daughter. She had always acted older than her age, more like a big sister to her classmates than anything, but this was far different.

Despite her age, she had truly grown up.

Her mother began crying when she found out Sara was pregnant. Her father looked ready to kill the man who did it. It was not until Sara told him, "He's already dead" in a quiet voice that the two truly believed her tale of kidnappings and murder, of rebellions and of a young boy, a girl of water, and a large woman who had risked everything to save others, and managed to save the world.

Sara hadn't been to see her parents in quite some time. She felt uncomfortable everytime she visited the United States. Such naivety, such innocence did it possess. Countries in Africa were experiencing what her new world had faced, and yet many civilians knew not or ignored such events.

Sara sighed as she continued to gaze out the window. The kids were playing with Abelia, trying to get her to be their horse. The once proud, noble head of Helywood's army conceded defeat and got on her hands and knees while kids piled on top of her, telling her to "giddy-up". Abelia managed to laugh, even.

Sometimes, she thought of Kazam. What had his story been? Was he happy now? She had met him briefly only a handful of times, yet she knew that he had truly cared about him.

If only they had met under different circumstances.

"Sara!"

She was called out of her daydreams when one of the kids called for her. "Come play with us!"

She glanced back at her sleeping baby, kissed him one the head, and went out.

She would look back. She would always pause and remember the horrors and goodness she had faced. But she would not drown in memories of the past. Not when she had a present to love and a future to look forward to.


End file.
